Gatekeepers: What is stopping you from chasing your passion?

I had a lovely brunch with a friend last week at one of my favorite southern comfort food spots in Denver called Sassafras. We hadn’t caught up for about a month or two, so there was a lot to spill. This last week had been overflowing with all these ideas and new ventures for me, and I was excited to share some of those with her.

As I talked about my laundry list of new plans, I expressed how I was almost angry. “I don’t want to need to do more. Why can’t I just be content with my life and business the way it is? Why does this shit keep pulling at me?” This sentiment arose for me this week aggressively as I stumbled upon a new business idea. Starting another business?! Right before wedding season? Am I fucking crazy?! But it is a thought that has kept me up for the last four nights, ideas just pouring into my head, and both my friend and I agreed that meant I was meant to do this.

She called this moment for me a gatekeeper. When you come to a path or new idea, there is a guard there essentially asking you if you’re really going to pass. When that gatekeeper stops you, a few things can occur:

1. You get mad like I did, and try to stop yourself out of denial that it’s for you cause it’s just insane.
2. You make an excuse out of fear as to why you can’t actually do it or don’t want to do it.
3. You realize it’s not actually something for you.
4. You say, “Fuck you, dude! This is exactly where I’m meant to be!”

If you can’t let the idea go and that passion continues to just burn deep inside your gut, chances are number three is not the answer. In fact, I feel like if you even reach a so-called gatekeeper, chances are this is a place you are supposed to be for whatever reason. But what I think is really important to talk about in this though are the excuses. I think number two is the BIGGEST reason why people close down businesses, don’t chase dreams, or give up. They fear that by chasing those dreams something else will happen. My friend expressed this to me around dreams and passions that were nagging at her, and I shared a story with her about a time in my life where I was stagnant in fear.

Early in 2016, I was desperate to move forward in my life. I felt so stuck and unhealthy. My business and my work were nothing I wanted them to be, even though I was doing it full-time and making good money. My relationship at the time was abusive, toxic, and the furthest thing from what I actually wanted. I wasn’t confident about who I was anymore. I actually honestly hated everything.

At the same time, one of my friends had started getting her health coaching certification and asked me if I’d like to be her guinea pig. Out of desperation in thinking, “well if I can at least control my eating and activity habits then I’ll be happy,” I took her up on it. However, to my surprise, something glared at me about halfway through the program had absolutely nothing to do with my physical health.

“Jess, what is stopping you from having the life you want and achieving these goals?” she asked me. She always applauded me on my self-awareness, and before the question was even finished, I knew the answer. The man I was dating and the friends I had were not going to be able to move forward with me. Talk about a knife to the heart. You would think letting toxic relationships go would be easy, but just like anything, they had become a habit and a sense of home despite knowing how bad they were. I feared that if I truly stepped into my passion and where I knew I was meant to be, I would lose them all and be back at square one.

It took me a another full year, and also falling back into the habits I was used to. However, finally, when I approached the gatekeeper one more time, I said, “fuck you dude!” Sure enough, those people are not in my life anymore, but I know for a fact that the mentoring, teaching and traveling I’ve been doing would not have been possible or would not have come as easily had I held on to those things instead. I would have doubted myself constantly, and probably would have even been ridiculed by my ex for even something as simple as writing this blog post. There would be no way I would be able to stand tall in my true calling of sharing my passion with others!

What I told my friend at brunch last week was that if you are truly 100% stepping into your passion and where you’re meant to be, the right people will stay and will only encourage that journey. The wrong people will work their way out, and you will find the grace and strength to let them go because you know you’re fulfilling a greater purpose. This of course goes with any fear that’s holding you back: money, health, self-confidence, the list goes on. But it’s amazing what truly listening to your heart and passion can do. Your excuses have to disappear because the answer is so obvious. You will no longer stop at the gatekeeper because you can’t do it, you’ll lose someone or you don’t have the means. Instead, nothing can stand in your way, and it will be powerful!

So I would challenge you to really dig deep and ask yourself (honestly) what excuse is truly holding you back from stepping into the life, career, or dream you are meant for? And when you find the answer…let that shit go! You are doing yourself and all the amazing souls you’ll touch with your passion a HUGE disservice by not taking that leap of faith.

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If you would love help in digging deep to find your true passion and what’s holding you back from pursuing those dream, my mentoring sessions are perfect for that! I have done this for myself and helped others push through it as well many times, and I would love to get to know you and find what really makes you tick so you can get out there and turn your dreams into reality!