Coronavirus – Should I cancel or postpone my wedding?

I already feel you. You’re stressing. Hell you were already stressing planning your wedding. Something you’ve always dreamed of. Wanting it to be perfect! And then boom…life throws a major a curveball in the form of a global crisis. Now you’re thinking, “Should I cancel my wedding because of coronavirus?” Everything feels like it is now unraveling, and whether you’re getting married in a week or this fall, the uncertainty is heavy.

If those feelings resonate with you and you really just don’t know what to do, this guide is for you. I’ve been a wedding photographer for ten years, and I can say that this is uncharted waters for everyone in the industry. However, we are learning and growing from this.

So here are some tips:

1. Take a Deep Breath – I know it seems simple, but it is so easy to get into your head and feel overwhelmed from this. You have so many questions and worries, I know. But this isn’t going to be an instant fix. So take a step back from it. Turn off your phone, computer, hide all the planning magazines and focus on other things.
   
2. Remember Why You’re Getting Married – When you’re wedding planning, even outside of a global pandemic, it’s easy to get caught up in the details. However your wedding day is NOT what this wedding is about, and no matter when, how or where you get married, the fact is you are committing your life to your person. That is what matters.
3. Talk with Your Partner – This is the BEST time to make sure you are communicating with your partner. I don’t know any pre-marital counseling better than a worldwide pandemic. So share how you’re feeling, listen to theirs, and know that you may not feel the same. That is okay. Take a night to sit down and tell with them why you want to marry them. This will help you feel the love and realize you have your whole life ahead of you with this person. The support you give each other right now is the very reason we choose to marry someone.
4. Be Flexible – As of right now, we don’t know what the future will look like. This is not a situation we can control. So be prepared to be flexible. Whether this means flexibility with your wedding date, with the type of wedding your having, with your vendors, or with what you initially envisioned for your wedding day. Things are changing by the hour right now and being adaptable will keep your stress level down.
5. Review Your Contracts – After you’ve taken some time to process all this and what it could possibly mean, review your contracts with your vendors. Most wedding industry vendors have cancelation and postponement clauses. Knowing what each vendor’s contract says will help you start to make decisions.
6. Stay in Communication with Guests – Be proactive and contact your wedding guests now. Let them know where things are at, what your plan is and that their flexibility and support means the world to you. Then tell them to get the latest info on your wedding website – so…update your wedding website frequently.
7. Your Vendors are on Your Side – If your wedding vendors are like me, you are their world! So being in open communication with them is key right now. Hopefully they are already in contact with you, but it’s important to let them know where your head is at, what your fears are and see how they can help. We are here. We want to help. And we are flexible! Also keep in mind that most of your vendors are small businesses, so this is also a hard time for them and a time where they want to do what they do best – serve! Now more than ever, your vendors want to go above and beyond for you, so your support of their business and policies means the world!
8. Opt for an Elopement – If you had planned a wedding, but due to the restrictions on the sizes of social gatherings, this may be an ideal time to opt for an elopement! I’m, of course, incredibly biased because I LOVE elopements. Elopements give you freedom and flexibility. You can adventure anywhere and focus on what truly matters – you and your partner. Not to mention your photographer can be even more creative! Of course, if your area is on lockdown, please do not opt for this right now. Wait until it is safe to do so. Then you can have a hell of a party later with your family, cause everyone goes to weddings for the free booze anyways!
9. Postponing vs Canceling – And here’s the doozy! Should I cancel my wedding because of coronavirus? If you find yourself in a situation where you simply cannot have your wedding, opt to postpone. Sure we don’t know when this will all be said and done. So you don’t have to choose your later date right away. However, when you’re ready, I suggest coming up with 2-3 dates at least 4-6 months from now. Then communicate those dates to all your vendors ASAP to find one where they’re all available. Your vendors will also have options for you if they aren’t available. Many can contract out to trusted colleagues. So trust them to take care of you! Postponing also helps protect your investment. Most of your vendors do not refund retainers or deposits in the event of a cancellation, but many contracts do allow you to transfer payments made to a future date. So let your money work for you! Not to mention, you hired your vendors because you fell in love with their work and even more so probably because you love who they are. So trust that when they finally have the chance to get out of quarantine and celebrate with you, they will KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK. Then it will be better than you could have even imagined. Lastly, will also help keep that small business afloat during this crazy time.
10. Make a List – This may sound a little crazy, but if you’re in a position where you have to postpone, take a minute to write down all the positive reasons why postponing or opting for an elopement may work for you. Redirect your focus to the good instead of thinking how horrible it is that you had to cancel your wedding because of coronavirus. This list can be anything from keeping your friends and family safe to working harder on your wedding bod to having more time to plan the best honeymoon ever! Whatever is on your list, I’m sure it is important to you. It feels awful right now, but I can promise you that once you are able to get married, you will see the silver lining to why it happened the way it did. In my wedding experience, when shit is hitting the fan, it always ends up better than we could have imagined.

But most importantly…

Lastly, please listen to what your state government, federal government and the CDC are recommending during this time. This is a serious situation for the world and going against their legislations and recommendations could have huge consequences for all of us. I know it hurts to not have what you envisioned and that nothing will give you back your time spent, but getting our world back to normal is of the upmost importance and should be our top priority right now.

In the meantime though, I hope this guide helps give you some guidance on deciding if you should cancel your wedding because of coronavirus and clarity around what steps to take from here. If you have any questions or concerns, I am here to help, whether you’re my client or not! So please email me at info@jessicanchristie.com. Lastly, remember this is temporary, and at the end of the day, no matter when or how you get married, you get to spend the rest of your life with the person you love!

All photography by Jessica Christie Photography.